Teen Titans Porn Story: Sheer Heart Attack – Chapter 1

Teen Titans Porn Story: Sheer Heart Attack – Chapter 1

Disclaimer:

Again, we approach the point of no return no second
choices. What I say now I cannae take back. I am not owner of the properties
of Teen Titans. Though Id like Jinx if anyone can mail her cute lil self to
me, I would be a happy man.

And now, decide, dare you delve deeper into my mind after
something like Obsessions? well, if you like Beast Boy you may like this.

Sheer Heart Attack

Part 1: Stone Cold Crazy

It arrived in the mail one day. No one knew exactly why it came,
but it was new, beautifully packaged, and promised so much that the team had
tested it the second they got it. The package was Quest for Eternity. It was a
simple Massive Multiplayer Online RPG (A waste of a good alphabet, I know), but
it claimed to have the most involving gameplay in any available on the market.
The Teen Titans, the premier fighting squad composed of hookey playing
teenagers, soon found that this was all marketing bravado and had no truth to
the tale. However, if they had all just put it down things would have been so
much easier, so why didnt he? Why was he compelled to play this game where
others werent. For a second, take a deep breath and imagine a different
country. Close your eyes and see.

In the place where horses were born with eagles wings and
honey bees have lost their stings, where dragons fly like sparrows through the
sky, the bravest hero in the land was known as Rat. He hated the name, and
demanded no one call him that. He made an outrageous excuse – that his friend had
renamed his character while he was away getting something to eat.

Great King Rat was a barbarian. His class was Paladin,
however, so he apparently got a lot of respect from the church, and that
baffled many people. He spoke in archaic sentences in a language time forgot
(Or was trying to) and he made crooked bargains with crooked individuals. He
came to a village that seemed to be in dire peril and spoke unto the hobbit at
the town borders, j0 f00.

The hobbit sighed and related the tale of the dark knight
that had destroyed this city. They thought that perhaps the brave paladin with
his mighty broadsword Nuthacker would be able to defeat the dread knight and
save the kingdom. Secretly he was thinking that they were all doomed. The brave
knight said unto the dull and uninteresting hobbit, R0xx0rz and ran off to
slay the dark knight.

No other Titan played the game Quest for Eternity, no one
but Beast Boy. There were about twenty other identified players to Rats mighty
domain, and their log in times indicated that they either were bat-human
hybrids, or Israeli. They spoke funny, but that wasnt any consolation when you
consider that Beast Boys idea of compassionate online discussion was saying
something akin to: oic. (25th century scientists are still
attempting to figure it out. Theyve figured it was akin to the Japanese Kanji
characters, and gave its meaning as I feel your pain).

Reality beckoned him, Yo! You eating, Beast Boy, or not?

Too l33t to quit, he said in a linguistic feat. He left his
character standing there and hurried out of his room, looking akin to a zombie
as he lumbered into the light of day. Cyborg was waiting outside his door,
looking irately at the youngest member of the team, Whats on for food?

You know how Ravens locked herself in her room and Robin
and Starfire are on a date?

Probably,

Well, because Im the only one here to cook, Cyborg said,
eye closed, So I made us chicken noodle soup. Got the meat cut up and
everything,

Aww, dude, you didnt, Beast Boy said, You know how I
feel about meat,

Cyborg looked at Beast Boy and cracked a smile, Just
pulling your leg. Lets go out and get some chow. Raven can fend for herself,

Yes! Justlet me log off my account before we go, Beast
Boy hurried back into his room, leaving Cyborg to wait. The tin man whistled to
himself as the boy, who had just gone in to log off did not emerge after five
minutes. He waited. Another five minutes passed and the scream finally came
into range of his censors. My dude! Hes been PKed!

Cyborg felt that it served him right. Aww, poor little guy.
Lets go. Cyborg attempted to pry Beast Boy from the screen, but the little
green kid refused to let go. Let go little guy, before I get medieval on your
ass,

Let me just see who did this. Titania? Ive never heard
of a player named Titania on the Quest servers. Must be a newbie, jerk, he
typed away at the console, Aha! Here he is. Titania, Age 14, Level 55! You
cant get beyond level 50! Dude, this guys a hacker,

Um,P dude, Titanias
a girl name,

Yeah, and so is Dominatrix69, but that was a dude, Beast
Boy countered. Hey! Heres his e-mail. Let me just send a threatening letter
and then well go, I promise,

Youd better, Cyborg said, Im getting hungry,

Why dont you just recharge your cells or something, this
wont take two seconds, he hurriedly typed in a message. Cyborg averted his
eyes to avoid the bad grammar and spelling. Okay, sent. Lets go!

The computer chimed. There was a response all ready,
Dammit, will this never end? Cyborg cried, just leave it alone for now. Beast
Boy peered at it, and his jaw dropped,

Dude, I think hes a chick, he said. He began typing, and
was immersed in conversation. Cyborg barely managed to drag Beast Boy from the
console with both hands and a heavy anchor.

*****************************

They ate at a small Tex-Mex fast food joint of dubious
authenticity at the local mall food court. Beast Boy was very poor company, Cyborg
thought. Then again, there was a reason why no one played Quest for Eternity,
and it wasnt just the surprisingly accurate name. Beast Boy had a reputation
among his friends as a PKer. He delighted in having superior equipment through
unwittingly illegal trades and equipment. No one enjoyed playing with Beast
Boy, so they didnt play with him at all. The game was addictive, they had only
bought it about a month ago, but Beast Boy had continued playing almost nonstop
for that entire period of time. It wasnt healthy and they tried to drag him
away from it, but he just kept getting dragged back in.

Cheer up, Cyborg said roughly, without a sense of niceness
in his voice, Its not like its uncommon an occurrence,

But dude, it dont happen to me, Beast Boy countered, I
dont get PKed because Im the best there is. Cyborg wanted to knock his
block off right there, Ive perfected the game, I am the game, the games all
Ive got,

Damn, little man, youre like three steps from walking
around in one of those mage dresses and pretending you can cast those damn
magic spells, Cyborg had taken a mage class when he started and had an
immediate dislike for them. He later took to being a barber. He never actually
explained why. Beast Boy looked at Cyborg,

Ive seen crazy stuff, but I aint ever seen anyone dress
up in crazy mage robes before, Beast Boy said. There was a tapping on his
shoulder, Look, Im busy right now,

Um, Beast Boy? Cyborg said, Remember that freak I
described to you?

Beast Boy took a sip of his soda, Yeah? there was another
tap on his shoulder, Im busy, werent you listening?

Hes right behind you, Cyborg said, burying his head in
his hands. He did not want to know Beast Boy right now. Beast Boy slowly turned
around to look at the guy who was tapping his shoulder. He saw a thin, pasty
teenager badly in need of some acne cream wearing the robes of a mage, or what
could have been such if it hadnt been a bathrobe two sizes too large and
covered in badly stitched sequins,

Dude, what the Hell?

Great King Rat of Rhye, I challenge you to honorable
combat, he said in a weak, droning tone. Beast Boy took a sip of his drink,

Um, no?

I am sorry, you have no other choice in the matter. No one
expected the boy to attack, least of all Cyborg and Beast Boy, but when he
began to chant they became more than a little weirded out,

What the? they echoed one another,

This is just so stupid, Cyborg said, burying his head in
shame, I dont know you or any of your lame friends,

I dont know this guy either, Beast Boy said, What do you
say we just find out who he is and call his mom to pick him up?

Sounds like a plan, Cyborg said. They looked at the
chanting boy and went over to him, slowly and non-threateningly. The boys eyes
opened wide and a wave of energy pushed the boys backwards. They landed upon
the stone cold floor, and Beast Boy barely managed to get to his feet. That kid
had released an electrical charge that should be enough, he looked, had been
enough to fry Cyborgs circuits.

Okay, now its personal, he said. He rose to his feet and
charged at the mage, turning into a rhino as he moved along. The mage vanished
to the side, and released another charge field. Beast Boy was sent shockingly
to the floor. The mage appeared in front of Beast Boy, who was currently in the
shape of a small bird, flittering back into balance. He transformed into an
elephant and grabbed the mage with his trunk. The mage did not dodge, merely
charged power in his hand for another shock.

Lit 3! the nerd declared, with a slightly nasal
intonation. He hit the trunk with his fist and the charged up energy
transferred up and down Beast Boys body, reverting him back to the form of a
young boy, barely conscious. The mage cackled with nerdy delight and kicked
Beast Boy, Is this the brave Great King Rat who I have heard so much about
back at the Academy of Heroes?
I, the great mage Robin Goodfellow, cannot believe this!

Is that what youre calling yourself? said Great King Rat,
rising from the ground in the most brilliantly expensive armor in all the
lands, I shall defeat you, whoremonger,

What did you just call me? came the arrogant call of the
masterful sorcerer, Truly, you would know a whore. Your tone is so vile that
they say your mother was one,

No one calls my mother a whore and lives, f00. Die! the
warrior hefted a sword from his side and lifted it with both hands and brought
it over the head of the mage. The may pushed him back and the sword flew from
his hand and landed over one of the assorted bushes. Rat looked at his enemy
and brought a gloved hand up into a fist, Its gonna be mano-a-mano is it?
Lets go. The great warrior brought his fists over to strike the mage, one
blow landed cleanly on the mages chin and the other brought the air out of his
lungs. Like that, huh? He gave a roundhouse kick to the mages head and he
was brought to the ground.

Great King Rat rose for celebration, when a silver hand
clutched his shoulder and he whipped around straight into a face he didnt recognize.

***********************************

Cyborg brought the disoriented Beast Boy home. He had never
seen the little guy heft a chair like that before, nor had he seen him use
punches like that. If it had been Robin or anyone else, he would have believed
it, but his surrogate little brother? Never. He returned home to the sight or
Raven, who had taken the television for one of her Gothy programs. He shook his
head and dragged the disoriented Beast Boy to the couch, Okay, weird-ass shit
going down,

Tell me about it, Raven said, Ive had to actually talk
to you,

We were eating burritos at the Mall when some freak in a
bathrobe comes up and challenges Beast Boy to a fight, Cyborg said,

Perhaps you misheard me.

And when Beast Boy got up, he kicked the crap out of that
mage guy with his fists,

I dont want to hear it.

And now hes just dazed like this, Cyborg finished,
regardless. Beast Boy looked at Cyborg distantly, and then at Raven,

Ahh, snrk, the greeeeat sorceress and the mighty, mighty
barbarian, my ooooooold friends

Ah, I think I understand, Raven said, You got drunk.

There was a tense moment as Cyborg glared at Raven and Raven
glared back. Beast Boy, who continued in his daze to talk to things seemingly
randomly, broke the moment. He looked at the TV screen and sat before it
awkwardly. He then began to bow as though coming before an idol in a temple, I
have come before thee, Silvery God, to receive your blessing, he said,
distantly.

Raven and Cyborg looked at him, then at one another. They
shared a conspiratorial nod, and Cyborg knocked Beast Boy out.

*******************************

Beast Boy woke up with a headache and a bandage over a small
bump on this head. He looked around, and found himself to be in his room, all
tucked up. He must have fallen asleep, he said, but then again there was no
accounting for the bump on his head that way. Whatever. He got out of his bed,
landing with a loud and gut-wrenching thud, but producing himself from the
crash unharmed. He rose triumphant! And he immediately went to his computer to
check his mail.

There were three messages there. The first read thus:

TO: .net

FROM: .net

SUBJECT: Rematch?

Im sorry, I didnt know you were AFK. I just thought my
thief was too fast for you.

Well play again some other time? E-mail me.

Princess Titania

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

Beast Boy scoffed, No one can beat my dude in a fair fight,
lady. He looked at the link at the bottom of the letter, That sounds somewhat
familiar, and I dont know why.

He looked at the next.

TO: .net

FROM: .net

SUBJECT: i demand a rematch

d00d, you so CHEATED!!!! Meet me tonight on academy
servers. bizzatch.

Prince of Mischief, Robin Goodfellow

0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0o

That damn address again. Whats with this? Some kind of
freaky clan or something? Beast Boy looked at the last e-mail. It was labeled
simply: Join the Academy of Heroes
and it was from .net.

It read only this, Be there.

————————————————

Part 2: In The Lap Of The Gods

PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP

Beast Boy cleared his schedule for tonight. He hurriedly
told no one to bother him and locked the door to his room. The rest of the
Titans barely had time to blink before he had done all of this. What was
that? Robin asked, confused. He looked to Cyborg, who didnt blink because he
was racing away in his video game. Cyborg shrugged and cleared past the
finishing line,

No idea. Probably playing that damn video game of his,
Cyborg said, I havent had anyone to whoop because he kept PKing my guys in
that game. I was at a barbarian out of last resort and he still killed me,

Jealous much?

Look, just because I challenged him the first times no
excuse, Cyborg said. The girls just sighed at the boys serious attitude
towards video games. I dont like it but I cant make him not play. Though,

Robin caught the unsure tone of his voice and moved in,
Though?

Though there was something strange yesterday, Cyborg
ventured, I cant really explain it, but we were attacked by a guy that looked
like he had walked straight out of the damn game,

Really? Robin seemed to think for a second, What
happened?

He sorta shorted my circuits and then Beast Boy went nuts
and beat the living tar out of him in a fist fight, Cyborg started another
race, Never knew the kid knew how to fight,

Neither did I, Robin said. He looked to the girls, You
tried that game out, didnt you?

Yeah, we got sent a copy, Raven said, I played as a
necromancer for a few days before the ultimate futility of the game and its
pathetic stat system and unbalanced class system put me off from it. I find
Massive Multi-Player Role Playing Games to be a sad put-off from the days of
classic private computer role playing genre.

There were stares from the boys,

The game sucked, Raven explained, simply.

Oh. Cyborg put the controller down, Anyway.

Anyway, Robin agreed. They seemed to think for a minute,
Star?

Yes, Robin?

What did you think of the game?

It was uninteresting and ugly looking.

Somehow I knew youd say that,

Besides that, I concur entirely with Raven. There was that
silence and then the boys just gave up on trying to understand them. I do,
however, think that Beast Boy is dedicating too little time to us, his
friends,

Now that sounds like something we can all agree on, Cyborg
said. They looked at Raven. Raven looked back. She shrugged.

************************************

Beast Boy logged on as the Great King Rat. He never really
understood why the others didnt play with him, or why Cyborg had accidentally
hacked into his characters data and renamed him Rat, but he still hated it. He
looked at the server list. There was Rhye, Castille, Eden,
and Ankh-Morpork, but no academy. He shrugged and typed in
.net.

Welcome, Great King, to the Academy
of Heroes Server. We have been
expecting you, a gentle female voice said. Rat looked around. He was in a
marble hallway that led on into eternity where it flickered out like a candle.
The paladin paced down the hall, Where is that h4xx0r. The hall was the most
detailed he had ever seen in the game. The other servers had bland background
textures, but this one seemed almost real-time. The portraits depicted the Lord
of Nature, the Lady of Grace, the Lady of Misery, and, among others, the Prince
of Mischief, whose portrait was missing. He looked at it closely. Looks like
theyre doing some redecorating,

Quite astute, said a charmingly educated individual. Rat
turned around and looked to see a man who looked fit for the aristocracy. His model
was detailed and almost, not quite, but almost lifelike, The hierarchy of the
Academy is undergoing some changes,

Really? he pointed to the empty space, Was this the guy
who wanted a rematch?

You dont get second chances in the Academy, my friend. He
wont be getting that rematch, the man said,

You must be the Prince of Pain or something, Rat
commented. There was a chuckle from the man,

No, not quite. I am the Founder of this Academy. Im here
to welcome you on your consideration for the empty position. Not many make it
this far, my dear good man. However, a name like Rat is most unworthy to your
skill,

Thats what I tell the b0z0z, Rat said, But someone
decided to hack into my account and change it,

Ah, I see. Well allow you to change it when you finally
are accepted, said The Founder with a bit reservation, Though Im almost
definite you will pass the test. King Oberon is not online at this point in
time, but Princess Titania and Queen Mab are eager to make your acquaintance,

Ah, yes, the ladies, said Rat with a wag of his brow. They
walked into one of the side halls. Something made Beast Boy nervous about that
hall. If you walked too far in it, would you vanish forever? The side room was
decorated in feminine dcor. There were cherubs all about the doorway, and the
ceiling was painted with a magnificent portrait of a seraphim with its wings
folded about itself. This server really was something to support all this, Im
impressed by the decorations,

Yes, most of the game was, how to say, rushed, The Founder
said, We had to reserve the future patch for the most elite,

Ah, thats why Im here. l33t is my middle name,

So youve said, The Founder said, The Lady Titania has
joined the server, wonderful. This is her chamber while she is preparing her
equipment and conversing. Queen Mab says she will be in a little while later.
She has business to attend to through the, ahem, computer screen,

OK. Rat waited. In a few minutes a figure appeared bathed
in light and perhaps one of the most beautiful female models he had ever seen
appeared before him. It seemed to smile at him, and a message came through,

Oh! Youre the opponent I accidentally beat, she said,
surprised, How did you get invited?

Um, another guy challenged me later. Got some mail later,
and I ended up here,

I see, Titania said, Youre strong?

The strongest, and the l33test. Im the best. He smirked
to himself,

Oh, so I guess I shouldnt have been able to take you out
in three rounds of combat,

Shut up. Rat looked hurt,

Sorry! Sorry, Titania looked at Rat, and seemed to laugh,
Well, you must be tough if my thief took three rounds to beat you. Most
enemies go down in one hit. I got a lot of experience beating you,

What?

Ah, Lord Oberon is online. Hes currently buying his wife
something from an online store, but says he shall be on momentarily,

Titania nodded.P In
the meantime, let me show you around.

*************************

Robin typed furiously at his keyboard. The message boards at
this site were so full of irrelevant information that it had taken him hours to
find someone he could contact about the Quest for Eternity game. The person
claimed to have been involved in the development, and had hopped on the board
to see what exactly was the general consensus about the final product. It was
his last hope for finding something about the game, and the game was beginning
to look very suspicious. The game was available only via Internet shops, and
the company that appeared on the label didnt seem to exist. No listed website,
and a search for the companys name yielded no results.

This was beginning to tickle his detective senses. Nothing
added up quite right. He logged into the Instant Messenger program and took an
alias that would demand fear. Then he searched for the user.

REDX: Hello?

REDX: You told me to IM you.

DEATHSTR0KE: Is that what you go by online?

REDX: Sometimes.

DEATHSTR0KE: You struck me as more intelligent. Oh well.

REDX:

DEATHSTR0KE: Oh, lighten up. What did you want to know?

REDX: Where can I find more information on the publisher of
the game?

DEATHSTR0KE: You all ready know if youve come asking me.

REDX: You said you were involved in the development of the
game?

DEATHSTR0KE: Mr. X, I assure you Im barely involved in the
development. I was more an aggressive salesperson.

REDX: Whats that supposed to mean?

DEATHSTR0KE: I wonder, have you ever considered asking
Waynecorp Industries about a recent robbery.

REDX: What kind of robberies?

REDX: Answer me.

DEATHSTR0KE: Id ask. Im certain you know whom to ask.

REDX: What do you mean?

DEATHSTR0KE: To be honest, Im sort of curious as to what he
has to say to this myself.

DEATHSTR0KE: Oh, Robin, you amuse me so.

DEATHSTR0KE has gone offline.

Robin stared at the screen. His mind screamed out for a
hundred answers, and currently he only knew of one person to ask them. Leaving
a message he was going out, he slipped out of the door and into the night.

************************************

The first place that Rat was shown was the great expanses of
the courtyard. The courtyard seemed to go on forever much like the main hall,
but most interesting was the way that the brooks and the grass seemed to form a
great chessboard. Rat whistled to himself, Nice,

Isnt it? I like it here. There are some small quests here
when we get bored. Most of the time were in Eden or Castille. We heard that
Rhye had started to get higher level players in there so, I checked it out and
found you.

Wow, Rat said, I didnt know that,

Well, it seems you also met Robin Goodfellow. He all ways
gave me the creeps, Titania admitted, He kept coming on to me, and it just
felt very restricting,

I didnt like him either. He lives nearby or something,

Oh, everyone here lives in the same general area. The
games still pending a major release, Ive heard. The Founder says its just a
small start-up, nothing too difficult, but I loved the general atmosphere of
the game. Im a long time RPGer.

Wow. I got sent my copy, which was kewl,

Wow! Thats lucky, Titania said. Lets see, next we have
the armory. As a member of the Academy, youll have access to the weapons
available there. I took a special kind of shoe that when equipped ups my speed
and strength considerably. I didnt even know that it existed,

Pretty awesome. What about swords?

The best is equipped to King Oberon,

Whats with this King and Queen thing? Rat asked, It
seems a bit weird, yknow?

Its kind of like a ladder. Im the fourth highest level
member, Robin was a level or two ahead of me, so we were equal level, Oberons
level 64, and Mab is level 70!

I didnt know you could go that high,

Youve got enough PEXP that you could be a level below me
if you pass,

Really? Awesome. Rat looked at the hallway they had
entered. It seemed smaller and more detailed, Wheres here?

This is The Founders chambers. We can come here and ask
him for anything. Hes almost always online, but if hes away from his keyboard
hell just leave a message in the doorway. Hell answer any question. We
usually also have to change our name, and hes here to do that,

Wow, what would I be called if I get in?

Well, anything. But Puck sounds cute,

Sure. That sounds kewl.

*********************************

Gotham City was bleak and barren, mainly due to the way it
was animated. The city was asleep, but there was all ways a crime. The city was
recovering, slowly, from its once utterly corrupt government, but to this day
there were still small pockets of villainy abound. Commissioner Gordon stood
atop the Police Building, waiting by a beacon that he had installed in case he
needed the Dark Knight detectives aid. He did right now, What is it,
Commissioner? came a deep voice to his right. He turned and sighed,

These crimes have been getting more and more sporadic.
Recently weve had two antique stores being robbed and now a sporting goods
store,

This doesnt seem like something that usually needs my
attention,

When you see the surveillance cameras you may think
differently. The commissioner led Batman into his office and played the tapes
one after another. They disarmed the alarms, but not the tapes. Its like
watching a strange pantomime. The first tape showed a man, perhaps in his
thirties, stealing from an antique store. He forced his way through the door
and proceeded to take an antique sword from the case and seemingly fight an
unseen opponent.

Hm. I think Im going to have to pay someone a little
visit, Batman said,

And Im coming along, said a younger voice. The two men
whipped their heads around. Robin standing there; I think this involves the
Teen Titans, now.

*********************************

Oberon was a man with a magnificent beard and was adorned by
natures finest leaves and bark. He looked over Rat and frowned, This the
little guy whos been causing a stir by beating Robin Goodfellow?

Yes, sir, Rat answered, Im really interested in taking
this test Ive heard about. This sounds really kewl,

Well, boy, lets get a few things straight. One of us has to
let you take the test, not the other way around. If it were simple enough to
challenge us to the test, wed be overrun with challenges. He looked at Rat
carefully, Whats your real name?

Well, just call me, uh, Gar.

Gar?

Yeah, why not?

Weird name, Oberon commented, But I guess thatll do.
Anyone wish to challenge Gar to the test? There was silence. Rat looked at the
masses. Titania looked reluctant, but she seemed about to step up to the plate
when an older, more extravagant woman appeared,

I shall test him, she said with the tone that moves
mountains and levels oceans, I, Mab the Queen, test you Great King Rat,

Um, youre that level 70 woman, arent you? Rat had a
sinking feeling. He looked at Mab, then at Titania, then back at Mab, What do
I have to do?

Its really simple, Gar, said Mab, You must defeat us in
combat. Well limit our levels to 50, and if you win, youre admitted. You all
ready defeated Robin Goodfellow; it shouldnt be too hard to defeat me. I
merely have the class of Valkyrie,

Youre a what? Rat said, Oh man, look what I got myself
into now!

The courtyard opened up before them, We shall begin our
battle at opposite ends of this battlefield. We must find, and then defeat our
opponent. Be advised to use your surroundings. Many a fool have gone headlong
against me and paid the price, Mab said. Rat sighed and looked to Titania. She
smiled encouragingly, and he grinned right back.

Okay, lets do this! Rat announced. Rat walked into the
darkness of the courtyard. Mab smiled and looked to Titania,

There are reports of another high level player in Rhye. I
want you to investigate it. The Founder said that he had reserved that area
almost entirely for them,

Of course, Queen Mab. Ill return momentarily when I
accidently overpower them,

Good. Godspeed, Kaylee,

Thank you, mother.

END PART ONE

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